When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?
When we are first in love and excited by a new relationship, saying “I love you” usually happens every day – often many times a day. We're excited to make sure our partner knows that we think and care about them, and don't want them to be in any doubt about how we feel about them.
Do you still say this, in words as well as actions, on a regular basis?
Most happy couples do, but it’s easy to let it slide when we get busy, distracted or a little distant.
This little three-word phrase is amazing.
Most things we hear suffer from something called “semantic saturation” meaning that if we hear them over and over again, they become meaningless. The words “I love you”, though, continue to be meaningful, no many how many times we say them. They don't lose their meaning or power. We know that our partner has heard them before, and we know (or assume!) that they already know, but it’s important to say them anyway, for connection, affirmation and reassurance.
In our experience, at the beginning of a relationship, couples seem to be more courteous and say “please”, “thank you” and “I’m sorry” more often.
It seems that, over time, we become lazy. We become more casual in our attitudes and approach towards one another and more likely to forget our manners. This can even extend to becoming rude, insensitive, oblivious or inattentive to our partners: so much so that we don’t even notice these destructive patterns. When we are lax in being considerate, it sows seeds of disrespect that erode the integrity of any relationship - including the one with ourselves.
If we want to be treated well, we have to start treating others as we would like to be treated. Are you respectful, polite, mannerly, patient and courteous? Kind-hearted, gentle, thoughtful and caring? If you said "Yes" to these, then it is likely you are already in a healthy relationship.
If "No", then the change must start with you. Make a choice and commitment today to be more polite, considerate, generous, attentive and thankful. Not because you want something from your partner but because our words come out of what we think and feel, but also influence it. The more we speak lovingly, they more loving we will feel.
Then notice the change in how your partner treats you in return. Good manners communicate acceptance, respect and honour and your life and relationship will be better for speaking with love and consideration.
If your relationship is lacking love, respect and affection, it might be time to call in an expert! Call Sue on 0439 294 532 for your FREE 15 minute consultation.